Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I wish...

that I didn't feel guilty when I hold Braylund because my house is a mess

that I didn't feel guilty when I clean my house that I am not holding Braylund

I had a clean house

all my laundry was washed and FOLDED

that I was more patient

that my dinner menu was done

that my grocery list was made

that I would not sweat the small stuff

that I would slow down and enjoy things more

So that is my goal.  I just need to slow down and not sweat the small stuff.  It's okay if I take some time to hold my sweet little boy other than to feed him.  It's okay if I hold him while he is sleeping and smother him with kisses.  I need to stop telling the kids to get of Braylund's face, it's their way of showing their love for him.  I need to stop worrying about bed time with Kynlee and Krayden and not just go through the routine but embrace the routine.  It's not about how fast we can say family prayer and have the songs sung it's about that they know how much I love them and how much joy they bring to me.  They need to know that I LOVE being their mom.  I got a Mother's Day card from my Nana and it's fits perfectly with what I am trying to work one on the front it has a bowl of cheerios with some spilled milk and the card reads "It's Mother's Day. No sense of crying over spilled milk."  Then you open the card and it says "We'll have time enough for that when the spills leave home.  Enjoy the MIRACLE of God's blessing of Motherhood."  How perfect is that?  I really do love being a mom.  I love that it is my divine calling and that God has entrusted me with such great kids to raise up in His kingdom.  I just need to remember to SLOW down.  This has always been really hard for me.  I do everything fast.  I talk fast, I drive fast, I always want to be first and in order to do that I have to be fast, I eat fast, I drink fast.  Jon always teases me that I am Jack from the series 24 because he is always "running out of time" and I am always telling the kids to hurry, no matter if we have twenty minutes before we have to leave or two hours.  ( I have been working on that one, not telling the kids to hurry). 

My Nana could not have chosen a better card for me as I am trying to enjoy every moment with my kids because they are growing up way to fast for my liking and soon they won't need me as much.  So the laundry can wait so can the dusting and the dishes and the grocery list.  I have homework to help with, a coloring page to color, a puzzle to do, a book to read with kids on my lap and a little man in the swing that could use some more kisses.

So really I guess my only wish is to keep everything the way that it is and enjoy the MOMENT!!


Jenny said...

I feel the same way only I'm not sure how to keep reminding myself that those crumbs I'm stepping on really don't matter!

Stephanie said...

I'm with ya! You're doing a great job!